I’ve been thinking a lot about legacy lately. Not the kind carved into marble or written in headlines, but the kind that sticks around in the day-to-day. In a handwritten recipe. In a sentence passed down. In the way someone shows up—for themselves, for others, for the moment.
Which brings me to my mother-in-law.
She’s out here actively shaping her legacy. In her stories, her sharp mind, her quiet strength, and her way with words. In the way she dresses (colorful & chic, but never trying too hard). In the way she mothers. Writes. Grandmothers. Advises. Cheers us on while still telling us the hard truth. Her legacy isn’t some static thing—it’s living, breathing, unfolding in real time. It’s in the kids she raised, the books she’s written (and keeps writing), the wisdom she shares, and the family group texts where she never misses a beat.
She’s the kind of woman who wears Eddy because she is Eddy. Grounded, stylish, full of heart. A woman who knows exactly what matters—and doesn’t waste time sugar-coating it. A novelist, a grandmother, a former nonprofit leader with an eye for fashion, a good book, and advice that sticks. She wears her Eddy pieces with the same effortless grace she brings to a dinner table conversation—and yes, always manages to turn heads.
As I sit here reflecting on what it really means to leave a legacy that’s woven into the fabric of real life, I realize just how much we can learn from those who’ve already done it. Women like my mother-in-law, who have lived through the full spectrum of motherhood, creativity, and generational shifts. Their wisdom doesn’t just live in books—it’s in the beautifully imperfect moments of everyday life.
So, I’m thrilled to share a few pearls of her wisdom with you today. We talked about motherhood (and how to survive the wild ride that comes with it), writing through chaos, what it really means to be a grandmother, and of course, the Eddy pieces that make her feel like the effortlessly chic woman she is.
Let’s dive in.
Q&A:
Biggest advice for young moms - your daughter-in-law included!
Becoming a mom can feel intimidating and challenging while it’s also exciting and thrilling. Once the baby is born there are so many new experiences, things you’ve never done before, which at times can feel a bit overwhelming. But try to remember all the women who’ve preceded you with far fewer amenities and resources to guide them but also raised successful children. Here are some simple bits of advice that have stood the test of time, not necessarily in this order:
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Don’t sweat the small stuff; 2) Make safety a priority; 3) Love, love, love that baby (know you have enough love inside for all your children, your partner, your family and friends); 4) Spend quiet time getting to know him or her.
Like I said, these are simple, basic suggestions, but looking back at my own years of being a mom, creating a safe, nurturing and loving home is key to a happy family.
You wear Eddy pieces all the time. Tell us what you think about the brand as a chic older woman who really knows how to rock it…?
When I want to feel hip or a bit younger, I turn to my Eddy wardrobe, in part because the style reminds me of my Bohemian youth. Every piece I own is worn with pride, because of who made it, but also because these quality fashion items elicit a feeling of pizzazz. On occasion, I even turn heads, and I love that, especially when I’m asked, “Who makes this?”
What is your favorite Eddy piece available right now?
Alexa top and Scottie shorts (also love my black lacy dress).
Has becoming a grandmother changed, softened, or deepened your view of motherhood in ways you weren’t expecting?
The biggest surprise came when my first grandchild, a girl, was born. I didn’t expect the intense love and connection, the desire to be there for her, to see every phase of her growing up. Before her birth, I’d never had a huge desire or need to be a grandmother, and now I can’t stand to be away from her and her little brother more than a few weeks at a time. (They live across the country from us, which is close to painful, but thank goodness for FaceTime! ☺)
Three generations of motherhood! What does being a "modern mom" mean to you—and come on, how many times did you roll your eyes at those wildly different parenting trends over the years?
Trends definitely come and go. (And yes, I’ve rolled my eyes on occasion!) As a grandmother, I’m learning the latest trends. One thing that keeps changing, it seems: Back in the 1980s and 90s, pediatricians advised us to lay babies on their tummies when sleeping; my grandkids’ pediatrician says the opposite (lay them on their backs), same as when I was a baby (way back when!). Luckily, we’ve all managed to grow up! So perhaps the message is to relax and know that it’s not the end of the world if Grandma does some things differently. Fluctuating opinions on sleeping positions are a little like the pros and cons of drinking coffee or wine – one year imbibing is great, and then in the next year you read all about the negatives.
One trend that hasn’t changed, though, is to read to and with your babies and children.
Creativity and motherhood rarely play by the same rules. How did you balance—or not balance—your creative work with your role as a mother and grandmother? Gracefully? Messily? Or a little bit of both?
Great question. As you suggest, life can be messy, and we try to navigate with grace (and frequently fail). In my case, I got lucky! Or you might say that I made creativity a priority. After leaving my job as executive director of Safe Kids in 1993 to be home with our two sons (3 and 4.5), I was able to write most mornings without interruption. Why? They went to nursery school! In a couple of years I’d finished my first still unpublished novel, The Trials of Serra Blue, which received the James Jones First Novel fellowship and also a DC Commission on the Arts Artist in Literature Fellowship in the same year.
Was there ever a time you felt torn between showing up for your family and showing up for yourself on the page? How did you navigate that push and pull?
Like many young women, I had a pretty “big” job when my sons were born, and it was difficult not to feel guilty. Either I felt I wasn’t spending enough time with my children, or I was neglecting my job. Looking back on it, I think I did okay. Often, we women expect too much of ourselves…so make sure to pamper yourself too. Taking care of yourself means you’ll be happier and better able to take care of others, including your partner.
There’s so much that goes unsaid in motherhood. What are some of those quiet, invisible parts of motherhood you wish more people talked about, or that you try to capture in your writing?
It’s not easy being a mom and you’re not always doing the right thing or making the best decisions regarding your children. There will be missteps, especially during your children’s tricky adolescent years. They are trying new things, experimenting, falling in and out of love, learning and studying, balancing studies and social life, testing limits. It’s super important to keep the door open to communication, to not be overly demanding, but also to be clear about your family’s values, rules and consequences. And then to be consistent. I know I failed on a number of occasions, but I also know I loved my kids deeply. Based on the relationships we have now, I think I mostly succeeded in communicating the latter. That was definitely true in Saving Phoebe Murrow—Isabel makes many mistakes but loves Phoebe more than anything in the world. I think too that sometimes our children are wiser than their parents and we ought to listen. That was true for me. I learned so much from them and remember thinking how smart they were.
The characters in your writing span decades and generations—daughter, mother, grandmother. How have these roles woven their way into your work?
In my novel, Saving Phoebe Murrow, the main characters include a girl of 13 and two moms. Parts of me are reflected in each of these characters. The emotions of feeling young, insecure, curious and excited reside in Phoebe, and in the mothers there’s a desire to protect their children (and sometimes overprotecting), pamper and spoil them a bit, and urge them to experience life firsthand without taking too many risks. Along the way they make mistakes and do some pretty rotten stuff, and yet despite their extreme shortcomings, they loved their daughters.
In the next novel, Strange Shape of Love, Charlotte (the protagonist) is 30 and reflects some of my own experiences and difficulties at that age as a young independent woman. She is searching for her “true love,” trying to discover (or stumbling on) the right career path, and leaving behind bits of her reckless and hidden past.
When all is said and done, what do you hope your writing leaves behind—for your readers, but especially for your family.
I went through a very difficult time in my early 20s. In the process of struggling through that period I promised to do “good in the world.” That thinking created the impetus for Safe Kids (now Safe Kids Worldwide), and in my writing I feel it’s important not only to tell a great story, but also to shine the light on one of society’s ills – or one of the challenges of our culture. I want to leave behind the idea of being and having been a caring and concerned citizen, daughter, mother, and grandmother.
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Shamelessly adding that Herta, my mother-in-law, is an incredible author. Her first novel, Saving Phoebe Murrow, will be re-issued and available very soon. And come September, her second novel, Strange Shape of Love, will be released into the world. You can follow along with Herta on Instagram to grab these copies as soon as they drop (plus, you’ll get a few cute updates of my babies while you're there).
Herta, thank you—for the advice, the guidance, and for taking the time to share.
xx,
Meg (your daughter-in-law who loves you very much!)
